First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
