my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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