Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
