That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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