I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
