I wish I could punch you in the face.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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