so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
