I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
BRING THE BAGELS
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
