I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
