belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
