you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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