I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
