oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish i was in the wii world.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
