What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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