do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
and she was petting her beer can
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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