It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize