you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
