He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
