Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
