walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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