Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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