i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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