His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
