i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
