bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
