ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
This toilet bowl is my home.
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