Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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