farters have to be the big spoon...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
