I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
