Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize