if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
