Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
