i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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