I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
