Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
