Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
