so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
