Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
