waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
