Joe is yelling at the trees again.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I want a musical about memes.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize