It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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