tell your sister to shave her snatch
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
