So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
