my phone needs a breathalizer
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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