Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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