We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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