Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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