So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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