she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
