Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize