youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
