Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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