Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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