If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Randomize
