Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
