I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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