A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
