He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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