How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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