I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
