i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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