I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize