You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
