There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
