His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
