O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
