i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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