I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize