can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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