Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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