He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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