All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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