So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
