He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
