I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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