i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
