We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
