she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
