nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
