she was so not down for the gang bang
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
