i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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