I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How does it feel to date your dad?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize