I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
